Ive been through life changes some cant understand,
nobody can grasp the anger i have in one hand,
a different kind of pain you would be ashamed of,
regrets u cant go back on a lifestyle u wouldnt think of,
trust me when i say i havent been the best person,
but if i could change my life id just be a better version,
someone who has a heart couldnt play this part,
it wouldve torn them to pieces i almost did from the start,
but instead i turned cold hearted nobody could understand it,
my pain shutdown i couldnt restart it,
i wouldnt change a thing though it makes me better,
a little cold helps you appreciate the warm weather,
a little pain helps you appreciate the smiles,
and even when theyre gone it helps you stay sane for a while..
im sorry to anybody if you dont get me,
i dont get myself and my dreams are of escapes so i can forget me,
from the bottom to the top is what ive always said,
the middle has been the hardest time ive lead,
never thought id wish accidents upon myself,
never thought id wish for the days of bad health,
but when you've fallen so far and you feel you will never recover,
whats another problem laid on top of another?,
ive always kept it in nobody knows me within,
sometimes people can only see the problems they have,
but then again all ive done was complain so my bad,
i want to leave on a positive note,
but theres nothing positive i wrote,
i want to say im grateful for the way things turned,
a tear went to a smile sometimes u gotta let it burn,
im not talking bout relationships im talking about within,
i let a bad person go and let a good one in,
somedays im still haunted by my past and the things ive done,
a better man is what i plan to instill in my son,
the worst thing is i cant forget what makes me pissed,
and i see it in other people when it doesnt exist,
i blame them and get mad at them in my head,
based off my own past ways or maybe some shit i read,
god forgive me let me let go of these feelings,
i wanna be free, i wanna touch the ceiling,
oneday when i look back at my life i will see a book,
a lot of teachings and a lot of lessons it took,
but ill be ok ill be happy,
untill then ill smile sadly.
